i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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