He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We left the knife in your bed.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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