No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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