everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
