So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
