I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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