Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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