Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Houston, we have a squirter
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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