My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Green mimosas i think yes
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize