I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
home. puking in laundry basket.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
