i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I AM VODKA MAN
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
