Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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