omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
