Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
