She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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