I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
