Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
