so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Boobs speak an international language.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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