He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
