Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
