yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
