its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
