I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize