did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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