what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize