Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she pinky promised me she was 18
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
