so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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