he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
