He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
