1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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