So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
