I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
