One girl and one boy is just not enough.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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