yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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