I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize