trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
