yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think I died a long time ago.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
