the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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