Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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