He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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