This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
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