First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize