lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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