It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
