I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
