im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You made out with two different species that night
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Someone came in the potted fern
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize