So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
