Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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