Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I faked an abortion last night.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
