I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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