Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
