I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
