Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
