just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
