it wasn't lemon gatorade
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
