my room smells like sperm. sweet.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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