do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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