Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
