Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
