This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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