He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
