Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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