yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
