I'm jealous of your bromance
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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