Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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