I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
